Joy and Bitterness

I’m a big mess of emotions lately. Everything from bubbly happiness and nervousness to all out weeping on my husband’s shoulder.

You know how you kinda shove thoughts and emotions to the side because you can’t deal with it at that moment…and then they all come crashing down on you before you go to bed?

Yeah, I was a mess last night. And here is why…

My joy over God’s blessing of new jobs came with the bitter sadness of leaving behind my nanny babies.

I LOVE my new jobs. I get to work with all ages, I love being in the library as well as interacting with young athletes at the office, and I love that both jobs provide a steady income-something you just can’t get when you babysit for a living. I am overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. God’s plan is absolutely perfect, His timing provided for us amazingly.

I knew it would be hard from the beginning. A year ago when I held Baby A for the first time and chased L around I knew I would fall in love with these kids. And ten months ago when I watched tiny G sleep and helped F take down Christmas ornaments I knew my heart was going to break when, someday, I had to move on.

Someday came sooner then expected, and it came suddenly.

My sweet nanny families, I pray you know what a blessing you were and are to me and how I adore your children. Some of the toughest days of my life were spent being comforted by little arms. Your children always brought me joy and I looked forward to each day I spent with them, and you! I count you as dear friends and I pray we can keep in touch and maybe plan some play dates. 🙂

This last year was a blessing, and I know there are more blessings to come. God is so good!




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